So when our younger son wasn’t developing language skills
and hitting all the “normal” milestones, I worried. His daycare teachers did
too. They suggested some help from a free speech pathology service through our
area education agency. I jumped at the opportunity.
What we found is not that my precious youngest son couldn’t talk, but rather that he needed
to be encouraged to and we need to provide him the opportunity to. You see, he’d
learned that older brother’s role was to be the talker, and his role … well …
wasn’t. This exploration into bringing out the “chatty Kathy” in our little boy
was thrilling.
What is a talking
stick? How does it work?
During one of the visits with Miss Anne, she also
suggested a way to help our oldest son learn balance in conversation, stop
interrupting, and “share the floor” with other family members: a talking stick!
The basic principle is simple. Whoever has the stick
talks. It’s his/her turn. Then, it’s passed to another person to share. Don’t
have the stick? Bite your tongue.
The Perfect Book
Before my son and I made our talking stick, we read a
wonderful book that must surely have been written by a mom with a child just
like my oldest son.
My Mouth is a
Volcano is an amazing piece of children’s fiction that tells the story of a
boy who cannot stop the words from erupting right out of him. He doesn’t
understand the impact his volcano mouth has on people until he’s the victim of
others’ eruptions. It’s a great book to read to help kids understand why it’s
important to have control over when you use your voice.
Once my son finished reading the book, I grabbed a wooden
dowel rod my husband had purchased and cut down to a little more than 12 inches
long. I explained what we were making and we raided the art supply cabinet and
decorated our stick. There’s no rules. In fact, you probably don’t even NEED to
decorate it. But I knew my son would like the chance to get crafty.
Making our Talking
Stick
He painted. He glued on glittery foam strips. And then we
stuck on star stickers and letters to identify what our stick was. To seal our
stickers on, we coated the stick with a layer of Mod Podge.
When it was dry, it was ready to put into action.
Did it work? You
betcha!
The next night at dinner, the stick found a place in
front of each of our plates. (I love it when we share our favorite parts of the
day!) My oldest son interrupted my
youngest twice but we were quick to point out who had the stick, and
immediately his lips were zipped. Our little guy was chattier than usual that
night.
Teaching our oldest son to respect others by not
interrupting and giving our youngest boy the chance to share how fun playing at
preschool is was a real win-win. The
talking stick has been just as successful ever since.
I love this idea! I have SEVERAL kids this could benefit from. I'm going to attempt to get the families involved and assign making their own stick as a homework assignment! Thanks for sharing.
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